When we were engaged I remember asking married woman "how to be a wife" as if there is a list of things you do that make you into a wife. I remember reading/memorizing Proverbs 31 in hopes of being "that wife" but the reality is that every marriage is different, because we as individuals are different. If you know me at all, you know that basically, my husband and I are opposites. He is quick to listen and slow to speak, he is a logical thinker, and he is very into sports. Then there is me, who enjoys sitting in conversation for lengths of time, I'm a high achiever who loves clean spaces, and I have very little hand eye coordination which makes sports a bit challenging. The one thing we have that never changes, is our foundation in Christ. With Christ as the center our marriage stands firm. Oh yes, there days where I'm frustrated and all I can do is let out emotions, which seems to confuse my dear husband even more. But there are good days too. Really good days where we get to live out the Gospel and I just know this is what God intended when He created Marriage.
Let me fill you in on a little backstory about me. There was a time in my life when I didn't want to be married. Yeah, I'm serious. There was a time in my life where the idea of marriage felt more like being controlled by someone. There was a time, where the idea or thought of marriage sounded like torture. My twisted view of marriage was that some man got to boss me around, change me and take my voice away. I remember when Lee sat me down and explained the word submission. Not in the wordy view, but the way Christ intended for wives to submit to their husbands. I don't know if anyone had REALLY shared that with me. It was kind of life changing. I mean, It was still a new concept for me to understand. The idea Lee also shared with me that Christ was the center of our relationship, and that He was to be our foundation. That struck and softened my heart to my tarnished view of what I thought marriage was.
In learning to understand oneness, and that it takes time. Oneness doesn't just happen at the alter. It takes time and effort to know someone on a deeper more intimate level. It takes learning the other person. Deeply desiring to know how they work, what makes them happy what buttons not to push and how to serve them. Learning who they are, respecting who they are and loving them how they are with all their fun quirks. While dating, or even being engaged you think you know your soon to be spouse. I have learned so much more about Lee in this last year of marriage than I had in our dating and engaged relationship. Its a deeper understanding of someone. Seeing Lee in the way God created him and treasuring that!
We are so grateful for our friends and family - our community, who laugh with us, cry with us and cheer us on and encourage us in this covenant! We are only 1 year into our covenant, and I cannot explain the joy marriage has brought. I truly and wholeheartedly believe I was made to be a wife.
from my heart,
Danielle
